October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is an opportunity to Start the Conversation about this important issue in all aspects of your life and show those impacted by domestic violence that they are not alone. Whether you share the NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline number, join one of our Domestic Violence 101 trainings, or wear purple on October 19 for #PurpleThursday, this page is designed to share ways you can be an ally this October and all year long!

Here are the highlights of this month’s activities:

• Every Tuesday in October: Domestic Violence 101. Register today!
• October 1: New York State Assets lit up in purple
• October 17-19: The New York State Clothesline Project in the Empire State Plaza Concourse. The exhibit will focus on providing a platform for survivors to help them break the silence surrounding their abuse.
• October 19: Wear purple in honor of #PurpleThursday!
• October 19: New York State Assets lit up in purple
• October 25: Start the Conversation: Engaging Men and Boys panel at Syracuse University
• All October: A social media campaign to help people #StartTheConversation in all aspects of their life

Active participation of men and boys is crucial in the effort to eliminate gender-based violence. Historically, men and boys have not always been prominent in this effort, but by engaging with them around this topic, men and boys can fulfill a crucial role in ending gender-based violence.

In April 2023, in partnership with Lieutenant Governor Antonio Delgado, OPDV launched the Start the Conversation: Engaging Men and Boys campaign. As a part of our year-long campaign, Start the Conversation: Engaging Men & Boys, this Pledge encourages men and boys to become better allies, recognize that many of the behaviors that contribute to gender-based violence are associated with negative masculine stereotypes, and speak up against gender-based violence in their lives. Read more about the Pledge and campaign here. We are encouraging New Yorkers to take this Pledge and to share it with the men and boys in their life: Take the Pledge!

This toolkit provides definitions, conversation starts, and resources to “Start the Conversation” with the men and boys in your life.

It can be hard to have the tough conversations with those you care about, but when you have the right tools, you can make a difference. Visit OPDV’s online Start the Conversation: Be a Better Ally digital toolkit to learn more!

October 19 is #PurpleThursday in recognition of survivors! Wear purple, hang purple lights, and make sure to tell others why purple is so important on this day! If you post a photo on social media showing off your purple, be sure to tag @NYSOPDV and use the hashtag #DVAM2023. All month long keep an eye on the night sky as NYS landmarks are illuminated in purple.

Share these posters and flyers in public spaces so people know how to Start the Conversation and victims and survivors know help is available. 

Download

Download

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Also available in: Español, 한국어 번역, русский язык, 中文翻譯, বাংলা অনুবাদ, Italiano, العَرَبِي, Polski, and Kreyòl Ayisyen. 

Download

Download

Follow @NYSOPDV on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn and engage with posts by sharing, liking, and commenting using the hashtags #StartTheConversation and #DVAM2023. You can also post the social media graphics below and show the people who follow you that you’re an ally to survivors. When posting, always include information for the NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline which can be reached 24/7 in most languages: Call 800.942.6909, Text 844.997.2121, or chat at opdv.ny.gov.

Download available for FB, Instagram, and Twitter  

 Download available for FB, Instagram, and Twitter

 Download available for FB, Instagram, and Twitter 

Download available for FB, Instagram, and Twitter  

Domestic and sexual violence are pervasive in American society and can have a negative impact in the workplace.

OPDV is working to ensure that employers in New York can support employees who are survivors of domestic and gender-based violence. Employers have an obligation to provide a safe and helpful work environment that responds to their employee’s needs. It’s important for everyone to do what they can to help put an end to domestic and sexual violence. OPDV offers resources for private employers to support employees in the workplace. Visit OPDV’s Gender-Based Violence and the Workplace resource page to learn more!

Domestic and sexual violence are pervasive in American society and can have a negative impact in the workplace.

OPDV is working to ensure that employers in New York can support employees who are survivors of domestic and gender-based violence. Employers have an obligation to provide a safe and helpful work environment that responds to their employee’s needs. It’s important for everyone to do what they can to help put an end to domestic and sexual violence. OPDV offers resources for private employers to support employees in the workplace. Visit OPDV’s Gender-Based Violence and the Workplace resource page to learn more!

Did you know that every county in New York State has a domestic violence program? Did you know that there are tons of resources available for victims and survivors from Orders of Protection and Address Confidentiality Programs to Financial Assistance and legal advocacy? Talk to an advocate today to learn more about what’s available, and make sure to share this information with the survivors in your life.

Many people who have experience domestic and gender-based violence either don’t know who to turn to or have had bad experiences when they’ve reached out for help. Your willingness to help can be important to a victim in their safety planning efforts. But while being willing and well-meaning is good, being ready to offer the kind of help that’s needed, while keeping yourself safe, is even better.

• Initiate a conversation in private and when you have enough time to talk at length, but if they want to.
• Let go of any expectations you have that there is a “quick fix”. Not doing anything may very well be the safest thing they can do at any given time.
• Challenge false attitudes and beliefs that you may have about domestic and gender-based violence.
• Believe victims and let them know that you do. If you know the person who has or is abusing them, it may be hard to believe that they are capable of abuse but remember that abusers typically act differently in public than they do in private.
• Listen to what they tell you. Avoid judgments and giving advice. They will let you know what they need.
• Refer them to a service provider who can provide necessary medical attention, counseling or emotional support, safety planning, housing and discuss their options.
• Build on their strengths. Point out the ways in which they have developed ways to cope, solved problems, and showed courage and determination.
• Validate feelings. It is common for victims to have conflicting feelings- love and fear, guilt and anger, hope and sadness. Let them know that these feelings are normal.
• Avoid victim-blaming. Tell the victim that the abuse is not their fault.
• Take it seriously. If you are concerned about their safety, tell them you are concerned without judgment by simply saying, “Your situation sounds dangerous, and I’m concerned about your safety.”
• Offer help. Offer specific forms of help and information, such as providing childcare, driving them to appointment, or assisting with pets.
• Give them control. Abuse and assault take control away from victims. Support their decisions about who to tell, what steps to take, and what types of support they need. Additionally, asking before offering physical support such as hugs and being upfront about what support you can and cannot provide allows them to take control of their safety and next steps.
• Support and respect their decisions. Remember that there are risks were every decision a victim makes and there is no one way an individual must react to abuse or assault. If you really want to be helpful, be patient and respect their decisions, even if you don’t agree with them.