When people think about domestic violence, they mostly think about physical abuse. Domestic violence is much more than the physical abuse, and can also include many other kinds of abuse such as emotional, psychological, financial and sexual. If you’re not sure if you are a victim of domestic violence, use the checklist below to help you. While this is not a complete list of all abusive behaviors, this list may be able to help you identify whether you are being abused by your partner.
This is not your fault
The thing that most abusers have in common is that they minimize, deny and blame. They might make you think that the abuse is your fault, that it was something you did to make them behave that way. They might blame the abuse on their stress, alcohol, problems at work or financial problems. They might say that the abuse didn’t happen at all, or that it wasn’t a big deal. It’s important for you to know that the only thing that causes domestic violence is the abuser choosing to abuse. Nothing you did caused it, and nothing you do can stop it. Only an abuser can choose to stop abusing.
You are not alone
Domestic violence can happen to anyone. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 17 men are victims of domestic violence. We know that it can feel isolating, like no one understands what you are going through and why it may be hard to end the relationship. We understand that there are challenges and risks to leaving. It is important to know that more resources are available now than ever before to help. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Help is available
Your local hotline can provide you with information on domestic violence resources in your community.
For the hotline number of your local domestic violence program, call the New York State Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline at 1-800-942-6906, English & español/Multi-language Accessibility. Deaf or Hard of Hearing: 711. In NYC: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673) or dial 311 TDD: 1-800-810-7444
For a listing of domestic violence hotlines by county, go to the New York State Domestic Violence Program Directory.
For more information
There is a lot of help available for victims of domestic violence and those who love them. Check out these resources for more information.