Questions for Victims Considering Couple Counseling
If you are considering couple counseling, or someone is pushing for it, ask yourself these questions:
- Do you feel safe being honest in front of your partner?
- How does he/she react when confronted about unacceptable behavior?
- What has happened in the past when you’ve tried to work with your partner to resolve your conflicts?
- Are you afraid for your own safety or that of your children?
- If your partner was abusive in the past, but not currently, how confident are you that he/she has changed for good? How long has the behavior change lasted?
If you don’t feel safe, do not let yourself be pushed into couple counseling against your better judgment.
- You may want to talk over whether couple counseling is a good idea with an advocate at a local domestic violence program, or with your counselor, if you have one.
- If you decide to go ahead with couple counseling, think about making a safety plan that includes those sessions.
- Do not assume that couple counseling will make your partner treat you better.
- Do not assume that the counselor will see through your partners manipulation and denial, or that they will see things from your point of view.
- Read a little more about why couple counseling may be dangerous and ineffective.